What Topic Is Your Nursing Paper On?
ENTER YOUR TOPIC HERE:
Book Store
Making Sense of Health Issues
Andrew Heenan's Real Nurse Blog

About

Humur Home Page
Murphy's Nurses
Coincidental RN
Bumper Stickers
Ideopathic RN
True Stories
Nurse Writers
RN Dictionary
Doctor, Doctor
and cartoons by
Kaz, Nurstoon

Nurse's Dictionary

A to CD to HI to OP to ST to Z

Accident and Emergency ~ Unplanned pregnancy followed (nine months later) by unplanned birth.
Airway ~ The flight path.
Analgesia ~ Paracetamol suppository.
Anus ~ A Latin word for 'year'.
Appendix ~ At the end of a book.
Arsenic ~ Incision for pilonidal sinus.
Artery ~ The study of Painting.
Art Line ~ Route to the galleries.
Ascites ~ Failure to ensure pre-operative marking of the site.
Aspergers ~ No nonsense bowel preparation.
Asphalt ~ Rectal problems.
Astigmatism ~ Not feeling left out at all.
Asymmetry ~ Matching buttocks.
Ataxia ~ Mode of transport with complimentary political commentary.
Atopic ~ The focus of the conversation.
Atrophy ~ We won the cup!
Auto-Eroticism ~ Got a thing about cars.

Bacteria ~ The back door of the cafeteria.
Barium ~ What undertakers do best.
Bile Bag ~ Sharp-tongued woman.
Blood Test ~ Confirming paternity.
Bowel ~ A letter like A, E, I, O, or U.
Bronchopneumonia ~ Rodeo rider's chest infection.
Bronchospasm ~ Rodeo Rider's range of movement after being trampled.

Caesarean Section ~ A ritzy neighborhood in Rome.
Cannulation ~ Preserving food in vacuum-sealed containers.
Cardiology ~ Study of front-fastening knitwear.
Cat Scan ~ Searching for Kitty.
Cauterize ~ Made eye contact with her.
Charge Nurse ~ One with a certificate in defibrillation.
Chest Drain ~ Breast reduction.
Cholera ~ Arrest That Woman!
Clinical Director ~ Receptionist at the outpatient area.
Clotting Time ~ Time to assess that idiot.
Colic ~ A sheep dog.
Colonoscope ~ Device for checking punctuation.
Coma ~ Punctuation mark.
Comatose ~Peripheral vascular patients' pedal digits.
Compound Fracture ~ Interesting fracture generating more interest.
Computed Axial Tomography ~ Scanning system for male cats.
Condom ~ An apartment complex.
Congenital ~ Friendly.
Copulation ~ Sex between two consenting policemen.
Cunnilingus ~ Can speak LOTS of languages.
Cytology ~ The study of vision.
Cytotoxic ~ Can be irritating to the eyes.

 

Compiled through the generosity of members of nursing newsgroups - and others. Contributors own the copyright for their items, the collection is © RealNurse.net - the pages may be copied for any nursing related purpose, but please include a reference to the source.  Contributions welcome!

Thanks to: Jenni Dodson, BJ Loew, Alan Horn

 
26 March 2008 | Copyright Andrew Heenan |
RealNurse.net We comply with the HONcode standard for trustworthy health information:
verify here.