| Accident and Emergency
~ Unplanned pregnancy followed (nine months later) by unplanned birth.
Airway
~ The flight path.
Analgesia ~ Paracetamol suppository.
Anus
~ A Latin word for 'year'.
Appendix ~ At the end of a book.
Arsenic
~ Incision for pilonidal sinus.
Artery ~ The study of Painting.
Art
Line ~ Route to the galleries.
Ascites ~ Failure to ensure pre-operative
marking of the site.
Aspergers ~ No nonsense bowel preparation.
Asphalt ~ Rectal problems.
Astigmatism ~ Not feeling left out
at all.
Asymmetry ~ Matching buttocks.
Ataxia ~ Mode of transport
with complimentary political commentary.
Atopic ~ The focus of the conversation.
Atrophy
~ We won the cup!
Auto-Eroticism ~ Got a thing about cars. Bacteria
~ The back door of the cafeteria.
Barium ~ What undertakers do best.
Bile
Bag ~ Sharp-tongued woman.
Blood Test ~ Confirming paternity.
Bowel ~ A letter like A, E, I, O, or U.
Bronchopneumonia ~ Rodeo
rider's chest infection.
Bronchospasm ~ Rodeo Rider's range of movement
after being trampled. Caesarean Section ~ A ritzy neighborhood in
Rome.
Cannulation ~ Preserving food in vacuum-sealed containers.
Cardiology
~ Study of front-fastening knitwear.
Cat Scan ~ Searching for Kitty.
Cauterize ~ Made eye contact with her.
Charge Nurse ~ One with
a certificate in defibrillation.
Chest Drain ~ Breast reduction.
Cholera
~ Arrest That Woman!
Clinical Director ~ Receptionist at the outpatient
area.
Clotting Time ~ Time to assess that idiot.
Colic ~
A sheep dog.
Colonoscope ~ Device for checking punctuation.
Coma
~ Punctuation mark.
Comatose ~Peripheral vascular patients' pedal digits.
Compound
Fracture ~ Interesting fracture generating more interest.
Computed Axial
Tomography ~ Scanning system for male cats.
Condom ~ An apartment
complex.
Congenital ~ Friendly.
Copulation ~ Sex between
two consenting policemen.
Cunnilingus ~ Can speak LOTS of languages.
Cytology
~ The study of vision.
Cytotoxic ~ Can be irritating to the eyes. Data
protection ~ Condom.
Decibel ~ A tenth of a bell.
Decongestant
~ Scheme for removing traffic from urban areas.
Defecation ~ Mistaking
BS for the word of God.
Delivery Suite ~ Home delivery desserts service.
Dermatology
~ The study of Irish males.
Diabetic ~ Welshman obsessed with gambling.
Dialysis
~ Welsh patient keeping his family informed
Diamorphine ~ Narcotic
for Welshmen.
Dilate ~ To live long.
Dipsomaniac ~ Compulsive
swimmer.
Disarticulation ~ Difficulty speaking.
Discharge Lounge
~ Waiting area for patients needing wound dressings.
Dislocation ~ Confusion
about where you are.
Distension ~ Righteous anger when disrespected.
Drip
Stand ~ No seating for idiots.
Drug Chart ~ Listing meds in order
of popularity.
Drug Dependency ~ Medicine that does what it says on
the pack. | 
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