 | The
patient furthest away from the nurses' station rings
the call bell more often than the patient nearest to
the nurses' station. |
| The
doctor with the worst handwriting and most original
use of the English Language will be responsible for
your most critical patient. |
|
You always remember "just one more thing"
you need after you've gowned, gloved, and masked and
gone into that isolation room. |
| The
correct depth of compression in adult CPR is a bit less
than the depth you just reached when you broke those
ribs. |
| When
you cancel extra staff because it's so quiet, you are
guaranteed a rash of admissions. |
| If
you wear a new white uniform, expect to be thrown up
on.
Corollary: Residents always poop on your brand
new shoes. |
| When
management smiles at you, be very, very afraid ... |
| Staffing
will gladly send you three aides--but you have to float
two of your RNs. |
| As
soon as you discontinue the IV line, more fluids will
be ordered. |
| Mandatory
meetings are always scheduled after you've had the night
from hell and just want to go home to bed. |
| You
always forget what it was you wanted after you get to
the supply room. You always remember when you get back
to the other end ... |
| Doctors
only ask your name when the patient isn't doing well.
|
| Success
occurs when no one is looking, failure occurs when the
boss is watching. |
| As
soon as you've ordered the pizzas, 25 patients show
up at the ER registration desk along with three ambulances
all with cardiac arrests! |
| For
every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
|
| Ten
seconds after you have finished giving a complete bed
bath and changing the bed, the patient has a giant code
brown. |
| If
a patient needs four pills, the packet will contain
three. |
| 
