 | The
patient furthest away from the nurses' station rings the call bell more often
than the patient nearest to the nurses' station. |
| The
doctor with the worst handwriting and most original use of the English Language
will be responsible for your most critical patient. |
|
You always remember "just one more thing" you need after you've gowned,
gloved, and masked and gone into that isolation room. |
| The
correct depth of compression in adult CPR is a bit less than the depth you just
reached when you broke those ribs. |
| When
you cancel extra staff because it's so quiet, you are guaranteed a rash of admissions.
|
| If
you wear a new white uniform, expect to be thrown up on.
Corollary: Residents
always poop on your brand new shoes. |
| When
management smiles at you, be very, very afraid ... |
| Staffing
will gladly send you three aides--but you have to float two of your RNs. |
| As
soon as you discontinue the IV line, more fluids will be ordered. |
| Mandatory
meetings are always scheduled after you've had the night from hell and just want
to go home to bed. |
| You
always forget what it was you wanted after you get to the supply room. You always
remember when you get back to the other end ... |
| Doctors
only ask your name when the patient isn't doing well. |
| Success
occurs when no one is looking, failure occurs when the boss is watching. |
| As
soon as you've ordered the pizzas, 25 patients show up at the ER registration
desk along with three ambulances all with cardiac arrests! |
| For
every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism. |
| Ten
seconds after you have finished giving a complete bed bath and changing the bed,
the patient has a giant code brown. |
| If
a patient needs four pills, the packet will contain three. |
| | Privacy
