| |
 | "Doctor,
doctor, what's the prognosis?"
"I'll give you just two months."
"Could I have July and August?" |
"Doctor,
Doctor - Give it to me straight ... how long have I got?"
"Ten ...
"
"Ten months, ten weeks, ten days ... what?"
"Nine
... " |
| "Doctor,
Doctor I think I'm suffering from deja vu"
"Didn't I see you yesterday?" |
"Doctor, Doctor I can't stop my hands
shaking."
"Do you drink a lot?"
"Not really - I spill
most of it!" |
| "My
wife's contractions are only two minutes apart"
"Is this her first
child?"
"No, you idiot - this is her husband!" |
"Doctor, Doctor When I press with
my finger here... it hurts, and here... and here... and here... What's wrong with
me?"
"You have a broken finger" |
| "Doctor,
Doctor I've broke my arm in two places"
"Best not to go back there
again then" |
"Doctor,
Doctor I keep thinking I'm a vampire"
"Necks please" |
| "Doctor,
Doctor I keep painting myself gold."
"Don't worry it's just a gilt
complex" |
"Doctor, Doctor
will this ointment clear up my spots?"
"I never make rash promises
!" |
| "Doctor,
if I give up booze and women, will I live longer?"
"Doctor: Not
really. It will just seem longer" |
|
"Doctor, doctor, I could use some good news before the bad news"
"We were able to save your left arm."
"What's the bad news?"
"It's on the table." |
| "Doctor,
doctor, will I be able to play piano after the operation?"
"Yes,
of course"
"That's great - I never could before" |
| |
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