| |
 | "Doctor,
doctor, what's the prognosis?"
"I'll give
you just two months."
"Could I have July
and August?" |
"Doctor,
Doctor - Give it to me straight ... how long have I
got?"
"Ten ... "
"Ten months,
ten weeks, ten days ... what?"
"Nine ...
" |
| "Doctor,
Doctor I think I'm suffering from deja vu"
"Didn't I see you yesterday?" |
"Doctor, Doctor
I can't stop my hands shaking."
"Do you
drink a lot?"
"Not really - I spill most
of it!" |
| "My
wife's contractions are only two minutes apart"
"Is this her first child?"
"No, you
idiot - this is her husband!" |
"Doctor,
Doctor When I press with my finger here... it hurts,
and here... and here... and here... What's wrong with
me?"
"You have a broken finger" |
| "Doctor,
Doctor I've broke my arm in two places"
"Best
not to go back there again then" |
"Doctor, Doctor
I keep thinking I'm a vampire"
"Necks
please" |
| "Doctor,
Doctor I keep painting myself gold."
"Don't
worry it's just a gilt complex" |
"Doctor, Doctor
will this ointment clear up my spots?"
"I
never make rash promises !" |
| "Doctor,
if I give up booze and women, will I live longer?"
"Doctor: Not really. It will just seem longer" |
| "Doctor,
doctor, I could use some good news before the bad news"
"We were able to save your left arm."
"What's the bad news?"
"It's on the
table." |
| "Doctor,
doctor, will I be able to play piano after the operation?"
"Yes, of course"
"That's great -
I never could before" |
| |
| 