| Radiology ~ Never missing your favourite
show on the radio.
Rectum ~ Dang near killed 'em.
Redivac
~ Hoover for hire.
Rhesus Factor ~ Reality TV for monkeys.
RTA
~ Dyslexic expression of creativity or imagination, or both Safety Pin
~ Restraint manouvreused by security personnel.
Secretion ~ Hiding anything.
Seizure ~ Roman Emperor.
Senna ~ Record-breaking Brazilian racing
driver.
Senna Tablets ~ Make you go. Faster.
Serology ~ Study
of English knighthood.
Sickle Cell ~ Communist spy ring.
Skin Graft
~ Bribery and corruption in plastic surgery.
Sliding Scale ~ Drunkeness
defined by the frequency of falls.
S.O.B ~ Not a nice guy.
Social
Workers ~ people who promote a friendly atmosphere at work.
Sphincter
~ What Pharaohs are buried in.
Staph ~ Your colleagues.
Stat
~ Like New York or California.
Sternum ~ The unfunny bone.
Stool
Chart ~ Seating options, in order of preference.
Stool Specimen
~ Sit there until you provide what we need.
Sub Cut ~ Not quite drunk.
Sublingual
~ Can hardly talk.
Suppository ~ Dining room.
Surgical Pad
~ Accomodation for on-call medic.
Suspension ~ Expectation of post-retirement
income. Tablet ~ A small table.
Tachycardia ~ Unfunny
greetings card.
Terminal Illness ~ Getting sick at the airport.
Theatre
Dressing ~ Put your glad rags on, we're going to see a show!
Theatre
Orderly ~ Just making sure we're ready for the next operation.
Titrate
~ Drinking enough to forget your cares without falling over.
Total Hip Replacement
~ restoration of cool.
Total Parenteral Nutrition ~ preference for Mom's
Home Cooking.
Trial Without Catheter - No avoiding voiding before your
case comes up.
T-Tube ~ A straw for hot drinks; a bombilla.
Tumor ~ More than one. Ultrasound Scan ~ Safe and sensible
way to examine a patient.
Umbilical cord ~ Part of a parachute.
Upper
GI ~ High ranking soldier.
Urination ~ A new country.
Urine
~ You're not out.
Urology ~ Home study for egomaniacs. Vagus
Nerve ~ Staying calm while gambling away your hard-earned cash.
Varicose
Veins ~ Veins which are too close together.
Vein ~ Conceited.
Ventilator
~ Air con.
Vital Signs ~ Important posters.
Volvulus ~ Swedish
car envy. Ward Round ~ No corners for the patients to hide in.
Warfarin
~ Inclined to be argumentative.
WHO Solution ~ Checking the ID bracelet. Yankeur
Sucker ~ Naive American. | 
| | Privacy
