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~ Condom.
Decibel ~ A tenth of a bell.
Decongestant
~ Scheme for removing traffic from urban areas.
Defecation
~ Mistaking BS for the word of God.
Delivery Suite
~ Home delivery desserts service.
Dermatology
~ The study of Irish males.
Diabetic ~ Welshman
obsessed with gambling.
Dialysis ~ Welsh patient
keeping his family informed
Diamorphine ~
Narcotic for Welshmen.
Dilate ~ To live long.
Dipsomaniac
~ Compulsive swimmer.
Disarticulation ~ Difficulty
speaking.
Discharge Lounge ~ Waiting area
for patients needing wound dressings.
Dislocation
~ Confusion about where you are.
Distension
~ Righteous anger when disrespected.
Drip Stand
~ No seating for idiots.
Drug Chart ~ Listing
meds in order of popularity.
Drug Dependency
~ Medicine that does what it says on the pack. E.M.T
~ Nothing in it.
Endotracheal Tube ~ Currently
out of stock.
Enema ~ [1]Not a friend. [2]
Rapper's mother.
Episiotomy ~ Usually avoidable
surgery to make the doctor feel better.
Exfoliated
~ catheter removed. Factor 8 ~ 8th qualifying
heats for the X-factor.
Fallopian tube ~ Part
of a television set.
Fetus ~ A character
in "Gun Smoke".
Fluid Balance ~
Carrying drinks across the bar without spilling a drop.
Florence
Nightingale ~ Italian stopover marred by stormy
weather. Ganglion ~ Big cat with long limbs
and poor coordination.
Gastrectomy ~ Relief
of wind.
Geriatrics ~ German illusionists.
G.I.
~ A soldier.
Glasgow Coma Scale ~ Scottish
alcohol intake ratings.
Glazed Expression
~ Occupational disease of window cleaners. Hangnail
~ Coat hook.
Heroin ~ Nurse who can face another
shift without narcotic support.
Hernia ~ She's
too close for comfort.
Hickman Line ~ Railway
used by out of town yokels.
High Dependency Unit
~ Facility for addiction to extreme mountaineering.
H.O.H ~ A prostitute.
Homeopathy ~
Sympathetic to the challenges faced by the gay community.
Hospital
Porter ~ Health service's own-brand ale.
Human
Resources ~ bank for transplantible organs.
Hydration
~ What anorexics do with their food.
Hypotension
~ Not tight enough.
Hypertension ~ [1] Too
tight. [2] A period of high anxiety.
Hysterectomy
~ Removal of overexcited woman. | 
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